Posts Tagged With: Marriage

No Shortcuts!

Thousands of men travel to Ukraine every year in search of a wife, and only some get married in the end. According to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security 2010 data, Ukraine and Russia were not even close to the top 10 nationalities that most obtained permanent resident status. Top immigrants were from Mexico, China, India, Philippines, Dominican Republic, Cuba, Vietnam, Columbia, Korea (South) and Haiti. Out of 1,042,625 people obtaining permanent legal status, there were only about 8,500 Ukrainians who received Green Cards. About 2,000 of them obtained legal permanent resident status through marriage. I think even fewer came to the USA on fiance visa. As you see, with such a high amount of American men traveling to Ukraine in search of that special one, the number of marriages is relatively low.

Of course, those marriages don’t happen in just one magic trip. Many have no idea how difficult it might be to bring a Ukrainian bride home. It takes at least few trips to Ukraine in order to establish deeper connection and see if it is a good fit long term. Then, it is at least 7-8 months to bring a fiance to the USA, and another 3 months for wedding arrangements, etc. It is a very long process, and nothing happens in the snap of a finger. It takes about 2 years before one can close the deal. And it is hard, sometimes heart breaking journey.

Many also forget that looking for a wife in Ukraine is a costly thing. Flying across the ocean at least twice a year can cost you about $3000. Plus accommodations, averaging $60/night for at least 7 days, totaling $420 minimum if you stay on a low budget. Dining is about $100/day. That is $700 for 1 week. Based on my observations, I can say that many men who come to Ukraine on average spend about $3000-$5000 just for one trip 7 days long. They also bring suitcases full of gifts – expensive perfumes, Victoria Secret lingerie, jewelry, etc. The sadness of this is that many of them can barely make their living back home, and this “Ukrainian-babe-investment” is not worth the game. You can’t buy love. It’s not the money, it’s the connection that’s important. Suitcases of stuff will not buy you love, they will only clutter it if there is no true connection.

The biggest problem, I believe, comes from being unrealistic. Men quite often have high expectations. And some want just an affair, not a marriage. They think that they can get a babe in Ukraine just simply by showing up. They want model looking, hot babes that everyone back home in Arkansas would be jealous of. It’s like bringing home a trophy, and proving to a brother, father, or an old time friend that they are winners, not runners-up.   Well, it all depends on what you are looking for. One night stand or an affair will work just fine. But a serious long term relationship will be a stretch. A typical Barbie girl most likely will not be a secure long term investment. Even though there are some exceptions with true love and real deal. You know what I mean!

The reality is that some hot, young, 20 year old Barbie girl (high maintenance woman) not likely going to say yes instantly! She probably has all kind of attention already, and she definitely has choice. She will most likely choose someone closer to her age, or someone who would stand out from the crowd, or simply provide for the rest of her life if she’s more shallow and has no higher values. What I often see is that sometimes the values for those women are some hot Italian boots and/or piece of a nice jewelry.

Some men also sometimes forget to look in the mirror first, into their passport, lifestyle, and their assets before they decide to write to a 20 year old model. 60 year old usually doesn’t match well with 20 year old. It makes me wonder why in the world some guys would bring an engagement ring to that kind of girl on a first date. There should be some common sense! If she only takes you to the most expensive shoe shops and restaurants during your trip, not likely she is interested in you long term. Look for balance! Some decent shopping is not going to hurt, but if all you do is shop for her – it is a big red flag!

Only those men who have confidence, common sense and are really serious about finding their true soul mate, have higher chances to marry a Ukrainian woman, and any woman in the world. Many forget that American passport and a house in Texas can’t buy love and affection. Money and gifts are just components of an initial attraction. What’s worse is when money becomes an illusion of a potential love. It is very disappointing to see how many men (good men) come to Ukraine and spend more than they could ever afford, and afterwards feel that they have been used. Don’t be a fool, and nobody will fool you!

Not everybody is so lucky to get a piece of that desirable Ukrainian pie. But if you are realistic about yourself and others, have lower expectations, and look for a reasonable age difference, then you have a good chance to go home one day with your Ukrainian bride. Remember, that physical attraction is part of that mystique chemistry; mutual interests are a key to mental attraction; spiritual connection creates emotional comfort with each other; and combination of all the above leads to love and mutual respect. There are no shortcuts here!

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Categories: Ukrainian Women | Tags: , , | 5 Comments
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