No Shortcuts!

Thousands of men travel to Ukraine every year in search of a wife, and only some get married in the end. According to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security 2010 data, Ukraine and Russia were not even close to the top 10 nationalities that most obtained permanent resident status. Top immigrants were from Mexico, China, India, Philippines, Dominican Republic, Cuba, Vietnam, Columbia, Korea (South) and Haiti. Out of 1,042,625 people obtaining permanent legal status, there were only about 8,500 Ukrainians who received Green Cards. About 2,000 of them obtained legal permanent resident status through marriage. I think even fewer came to the USA on fiance visa. As you see, with such a high amount of American men traveling to Ukraine in search of that special one, the number of marriages is relatively low.

Of course, those marriages don’t happen in just one magic trip. Many have no idea how difficult it might be to bring a Ukrainian bride home. It takes at least few trips to Ukraine in order to establish deeper connection and see if it is a good fit long term. Then, it is at least 7-8 months to bring a fiance to the USA, and another 3 months for wedding arrangements, etc. It is a very long process, and nothing happens in the snap of a finger. It takes about 2 years before one can close the deal. And it is hard, sometimes heart breaking journey.

Many also forget that looking for a wife in Ukraine is a costly thing. Flying across the ocean at least twice a year can cost you about $3000. Plus accommodations, averaging $60/night for at least 7 days, totaling $420 minimum if you stay on a low budget. Dining is about $100/day. That is $700 for 1 week. Based on my observations, I can say that many men who come to Ukraine on average spend about $3000-$5000 just for one trip 7 days long. They also bring suitcases full of gifts – expensive perfumes, Victoria Secret lingerie, jewelry, etc. The sadness of this is that many of them can barely make their living back home, and this “Ukrainian-babe-investment” is not worth the game. You can’t buy love. It’s not the money, it’s the connection that’s important. Suitcases of stuff will not buy you love, they will only clutter it if there is no true connection.

The biggest problem, I believe, comes from being unrealistic. Men quite often have high expectations. And some want just an affair, not a marriage. They think that they can get a babe in Ukraine just simply by showing up. They want model looking, hot babes that everyone back home in Arkansas would be jealous of. It’s like bringing home a trophy, and proving to a brother, father, or an old time friend that they are winners, not runners-up.   Well, it all depends on what you are looking for. One night stand or an affair will work just fine. But a serious long term relationship will be a stretch. A typical Barbie girl most likely will not be a secure long term investment. Even though there are some exceptions with true love and real deal. You know what I mean!

The reality is that some hot, young, 20 year old Barbie girl (high maintenance woman) not likely going to say yes instantly! She probably has all kind of attention already, and she definitely has choice. She will most likely choose someone closer to her age, or someone who would stand out from the crowd, or simply provide for the rest of her life if she’s more shallow and has no higher values. What I often see is that sometimes the values for those women are some hot Italian boots and/or piece of a nice jewelry.

Some men also sometimes forget to look in the mirror first, into their passport, lifestyle, and their assets before they decide to write to a 20 year old model. 60 year old usually doesn’t match well with 20 year old. It makes me wonder why in the world some guys would bring an engagement ring to that kind of girl on a first date. There should be some common sense! If she only takes you to the most expensive shoe shops and restaurants during your trip, not likely she is interested in you long term. Look for balance! Some decent shopping is not going to hurt, but if all you do is shop for her – it is a big red flag!

Only those men who have confidence, common sense and are really serious about finding their true soul mate, have higher chances to marry a Ukrainian woman, and any woman in the world. Many forget that American passport and a house in Texas can’t buy love and affection. Money and gifts are just components of an initial attraction. What’s worse is when money becomes an illusion of a potential love. It is very disappointing to see how many men (good men) come to Ukraine and spend more than they could ever afford, and afterwards feel that they have been used. Don’t be a fool, and nobody will fool you!

Not everybody is so lucky to get a piece of that desirable Ukrainian pie. But if you are realistic about yourself and others, have lower expectations, and look for a reasonable age difference, then you have a good chance to go home one day with your Ukrainian bride. Remember, that physical attraction is part of that mystique chemistry; mutual interests are a key to mental attraction; spiritual connection creates emotional comfort with each other; and combination of all the above leads to love and mutual respect. There are no shortcuts here!

Categories: Ukrainian Women | Tags: , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “No Shortcuts!

  1. William

    Galyna is again as wise as she is wonderful! I was an Anastasia Date tour American Rep for 5 years! I have seen it all in leading the guys in my tours to a dozen Ukrainian cities!! Galyna is right on!!! Read her words. Follow her advise. Don’t be a Ukrainian Babe victim! Most guys who travel to the former Soviet countries get stung at least a few times. Some learn and adjust their goals here. But sadly, most guys do not learn the ways of the Ukrainian Babe Siren…

    Marriage and dating agencies are almost always a FOR PROFIT business in Ukraine. I can count on one hand those who are legitimately trying to do a good match making job. Men, please think of going to Ukraine like you would going on vacation to the Las Vegas strip! Lots of glits and glamor there. And it is all designed to bring you into their hotel and casino!! Have fun. But know your lose limit!!!

    Many guys go into the Ukrainian Babe Casino thinking that they can beat the house and walk away a winner! Some do, but most just end up broke and broken hearted…just like in Vegas. My point is to if you are going to play in the Ukrainian Babe Casino, at least increase your odds of winning! Know the game. Listen to Galyna. She knows all of the stories in Ukraine too. She can tell you first hand the good, the bad, and the real ugly Ukrainian dating stories.

    You choose. You can watch other men piss on the electric fence, and learn. Or you can just enjoy the pain for yourself…

  2. Jenny

    Galyna, you are absolutely right about everything!!! I had these thoughts many times on my mind when I was interpreting and trying to prove the point to the kind of guys you had described above. But the problem is that they are fooled and blinded initially by the dating websites. They already feel like supermen before they even leave the US because they get hundreds of “letters” from super hot girls and many girls “want” to chat with them in a video chat. We know who writes those “letters” an how those chats work so it is an illusion initially. You are right that for most of the guys to bring a Ukrainian woman to the US is like to bring a proof that he is not a looser. They have no idea and don’t really care what a girl feels. There are so many cultural differences between us which are psychologically difficult to adjust to. There always should be love, understanding, mutual respect which will help to overcome all those obstacles not a “trophy/money” deal. There are really no shortcuts!

    As for those guys who have confidence and enough success back home, most of them come to Ukraine for the wrong reasons: for the sex tourism. And most of the time it is our ladies’ fault because when they see a more or less decent guy in a crowd of “short, old and bold” they just throw themselves to those guys which makes them believe that a Ukrainian woman is an easy target. My friend, a successful doctor in the US goes to Ukraine on a regular basis. He says he likes Ukrainian women because they are beautiful but he doesn’t have to sweat too much to get them like it would be with a beautiful American woman. I think this is sad…

    There so many sincere, loving, caring, loyal, beautiful, educated women in Ukraine who are looking for having a family and kids. You guys just need to look deeper than short skirts and model looks!

  3. William and Jenny, I agree! Of course there are some great love stories! But it’s true that men need to look deeper than short skirts and model looks!

  4. Procedurally, the process works like this. The U.S. citizen or permanent resident must submit a visa petition (form I-130) to appropriate local INS office to prove that the marriage is bona fide, that is, entered into for love rather than simply for the foreign-born spouse to obtain a green card. Attached to the visa petition are the following items: (1) Biographical forms (forms G-325A) for both the husband and the wife with photos attached; (2) Proof of the citizenship status of the petitioner. This can take the form of a U.S. passport, a Certificate of Naturalization or Citizenship or a certified copy of the citizen’s birth certificate; (3) A certified copy of the marriage certificate; (4) Certified copies of the documents that terminated any previous marriages of the husband or wife, including final divorce decrees, and certificates of annulment or death; and, in the case of a permanent resident alien, proof of such status. Simultaneously, the foreign-born spouse must submit an application for adjustment of status (form I-485) which is an application for a green card. Items which must accompany the green card application are a completed fingerprint chart and green card photographs, and other INS forms may be required. The spouse can also file an OF-230 with the consulate and be issued an immigrant visa. In both the immigrant visa and adjustment of status cases, the petitioning U.S. citizen or Legal Permanent Resident must also complete an affidavit of support, INS form I-864, on behalf of the alien spouse.

  5. Pingback: NO SHORTCUTS!: Some important facts about Ukrainian dating | Ukrainian Dating Blog

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